Has it really been 3 weeks...

3 weeks ago today little did we know that our lives would forever be changed. Scared and yet healed all in the same day.
3 weeks ago today at this time Chris and I were settling down in our room at the hospital. The same labor and delivery room that just hours before was filled will tons of loving people all there to help and support us. It was late and we were both exhausted yet WIDE awake. I remember it clearly the nurse had asked if we wanted to keep Korbin all night in our room with us we had both decided no. I knew I would never have slept with him there so still. I had needed sleep, Chris had needed sleep.

This week was the hardest week ever. We both went back to work. Him on Monday and I was off like usual on my Mondays. The house seemed empty and odd. Not only did I not have my pregnant belly, or a baby but now there was no Chris there to talk to all day.
Tuesday, Wed, and Thur I went to work. And just like Life before Korbin I got home really late and was super busy all day til I sat down in my chair after 9pm.
I saw pregnant people and my first thought was THAT SHOULD BE ME! I saw babies and thought I SHOULD HAVE MINE!!
On Friday my cousin came over to help me get all the beautiful plants people had give us in the ground so they didnt die. Then I had a couple of Errands to run, so I decided to go visit Korbin..where I had the sickest most violated feeling I have ever felt my whole life. The beautiful and cute things everyone had decorated my sons grave with was GONE. The cemetery had "cleaned" up on Wed and THREW away the things due to mowing...which I am kinda upset about my sons grave is still fresh there is NO GRASS to be mowed I dont understand why even the pinwheel couldnt have been left there :( It was like a slap in the face for a brief moment of panic I felt like I had lost a part of him all over again.

We booked a vacation for next month to Myrtle Beach..JUST the three of us..something we just realized we have NEVER done gone away and it be just us!!
In the past we have always gone WITH family or friends , or gone to visit family. Which isnt a bad thing it will be nice after all that has happened to have just some US time!

We finished the week out with a BUSY weekend. We had the first ever Annual Soldano family reunion we got to see tons of Chris family. Some I had never met yet, and some we hadnt seen in YEARS. It was a LONG day but really nice to spend it with family. Kayla had a blast

To be continued Tomorrow is the beginning of week two of trying to carry on with life....