Anniversaries and the vacation refresher ....

So its been awhile I apologize I mean to update then get tired or busy and forget

Last Thursday was Chris and I's 10 year anniversary. The last 10 yrs sure have been a test of for better or worse. We have had plenty of downs. Chris losing his job, having family members die some WAY to young. Taking a huge loss financially on the sale of our old home. MANY MANY health issues with family members. Behavioral issues with Kayla. And too much more to mention. But NONE of that would prepare us for the down of having our son die.
Even with all of those.. the ups out weigh the downs 10 fold. We have each other, Kayla wonderful family and SOO many great caring friends and neighbors that we are so very thankful for and feel so blessed to have.
We celebrated our anniversary with Dinner on wed at the Final cut it was a quite peaceful dinner. We toasted to Korbin
Friday Korbin would have been 2M old I miss him so much.


July 8th we went to Myrtle Beach our 1st family vacation just the 3 of us. I usually have everything packed and planned to the T days before. I didnt even pack us til 7pm on the 8th. We slept in everyday made no plans. Went to the pool and just hung out it was so unlike me and frankly quite liberating. We had a wonderful time and just what we needed some together time.

So last monday we had our appt with Childrens Hospital Human Genetics Dept. As usual it was another appt of ...let wait and see. Our favorite new game I think I have already perfected that so it can go away now..
We learned some things
#1 (which we already assumed but hoped not) they are 99.99% sure it WAS something genetic with Korbin and not just one of those things that happens.
Why, well it was explained that he had more than one anomalies and none of them could have caused the other. So with multiple things that means genetic.
#2 they have strong GUESSES as to the two possible syndromes Korbin had
Meckle - Gruber or COACH ...which we were told over lap on symptoms.
The complications are that BOTH of those each have a 25% chance of reoccurring problems with EACH pregnancy...keeping in mind if Renal (kidney) anomalies repeat that is high chance of mortality again :(
#3 since these syndromes require that BOTH parents each pass a recessive gene onto the fetus/child there is a 50% (or more) chance Kayla is a carrier...having chance one of us passed it to her. Meaning this could affect her pregnancies and children.
While the genetics DR informed us (more like tried to ease our worries) that although our current situation is very real for us, the chances of two people who are carriers actually finding each other out there is really rare...almost as rare as the conditions.

What they are offering us at this time is they are trying to recover the cord blood collected at birth for testing and they are sending everything they have on Korbin to a special group in Seattle who specializes in these types of things...we still may never get definite answers...

Were does this leave us..... it has not changed our minds about trying to have another child. Again we believe there is someone else in charge at all times only he knows when, why , where ect..
All we can do is PRAY. I have had people say HOW CAN YOU GO THROUGH that again and I say.. Korbin. How can we NOT.. if we gave up or never tried we wouldnt have had Korbin I dont for ONE SECOND ever regret him or the brief time we shared with him.
I have searched for the WHY answers WHY did this have to happen to us. For those of you reading who have been through this you know there are NO answers. It sucks. And once, twice or three times makes no difference to me. Especially if there is a chance we can have a healthy baby to take home.

I will keep you all update if anything comes back on the cord blood testing or anything from the group in seattle.


I feel like I had so much more to share this blog entry but I wait to long in between posts I have since forgotten..oops sorry.


Thank you to all who prayed for the Merk family.
Sadly again I need to ask prayers of comfort for another couple The Volz's who lost their (first) child their son Gabriel was born with a rare form of cancer. He was a fighter born June 28th and passed away last Saturday July 23rd.
They are kind and caring people I will never understand why god chooses who he does for these things I just have to have faith.
Please pray for peace and comfort for them during this EXTREMELY difficult time