6m seems like a lifetime

Its November 22nd and today my son should be 6m old today. 6m is a Huge milestone for an infant. The pain of thinking about all the things a 6m can and should do is horrible. Sitting up, crawling, starting foods. I would trade any of that for a beating heart on my chest in my arms :(
Christmas shopping is not fun this year, it feels like there is someone missing we are shopping for ... and there is. It makes it even harder that there are a few babies on our list close in age

I have no idea how I am going to survive the holidays. On the days I think about Korbin for even a minute I want to start bawling. This is going to sound horrible except to those who "get it" because they have been there but most days I purposely try to forget Korbin. If I dont the pain can be just down right CRIPPLING.
We really wanted this baby we planned and tried for awhile. It wasnt an Uh-oh its just not fair I know I sound like a whinny kid but its not and it sucks.

We kept saying we are trying again no matter what. I said what really are the odds of this kind of thing happening twice...um apparently higher than i thought b/c i have met numerous people it has happened too MORE than once. They are all good people too


I have just been trying to stay busy especially with Kayla..trying to enjoy and not miss any of that stuff with her. I am sure for her sake I will hold it together for Christmas but inside I will be screaming.

I had this whole blog written out in my head a couple of days ago but I am so exhausted right now I cant think of really what to write.


I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and gets to spend it with their families.
There are MANY things God gave me that I am thankful for and My family ranks up there #1 <3 Psalm 34:1 I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.