Oh how one little thing can change your life FOREVER

By little I am talking about a 4lb 3oz sweet baby boy, i miss EVERY single day.

So its 15mins til the 28th of February. A year ago today Me, Chris and Kayla left our home a VERY happy family of 3 on our way to find out what sex our 4th Member would be.

Little did we know our worlds were about to be turned upside down.
35mins after arriving to what was supposed to be a routine gender scan ultrasound.
We didnt leave a happy 3. But instead we left one angry, one terrified and one little one so very confused and scared.
I will never forget the feelings as I googled "hole in my babies skull"

I dont get to visit his grave as much as I used to and that saddens me (winter hrs are shorter)

Tomorrow is going to SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I know I have not blooged in a LONG LONG while. Last Tues my Son would have been 9M old and like the months before I cant help but to think of all the things a 9th old should do.
People have asked a LOT lately how we are and commented on the fact I havent blogged.
I am sorry I havent. It has mostly been because I have simply been very very busy.

We DID survive the Holidays. We actually had a very nice Christmas and New Years. We stayed home Christmas morning just us and it was really nice. We also stayed home on NYE with a few close friends.
I'd be lying if I didnt say there were some tears shed but we made it through together.

For those of you who havent heard I AM unemployed. After all that our family had been through last year my parents decided it was time to retire and enjoy life... and rightly earned. (BTW their building still is not even finished repairs from fire)
Although it has been tight for us i have faith the Lord will provide and so far he has in different ways.
I have gotten to spend more time with Kayla, and my sister which is awesome. She just had her 4th adorable little girl. (and moved into their new home)

Kayla has been busy with Girl Scouts (I am the co-leader for her troop) and she LOVES IT, Dance and her Faith studies at Church.
She has lost 6 teeth now. Pretty soon she will have none :O

Chris has been busy at work

We FINALLY after 2yrs painted our house, well the 1st floor anyway. I love it!

I have been busy planning a benefit for my dear sweet Cousin's family. Her husbands cancer that wasnt cured in 2009 has spread. I am hoping to help them with the many medical bills they have gotten over the last 8yrs with his cancer and triple bypass. (see my facebook event page if you'd like to help its going to be a GREAT family event)


All and all we are getting by. We truly appreciate all your love and support you have given us this past year. With out which I am not sure we could have survived

The number one question we get all the time is are we still going to try again.
The answer is YES and hopefully SOON I have been struggling with my weight gain and trying to lose. So stay tuned maybe in the future there will be GOOD news.


I think that is all for now. hopefully I havent forgotten anyone or anything important in our lives.

We love you all!!

~Tonya